Emma Knows It All

I've been sick.

Busy.

Lazy.

Sick, busy, and lazy. That's about right. The details aren't that important.

Just know that I am pathetic:

Here is a fun story about Emma and Mason to keep you entertained for a little while.

Emma's face for "pancake-zilla".

Beware. It all begins with...

Mason's Height/Attractiveness

We are standing in the hall of our house, Mason and I.

He is feeling a little superior. "I'm as tall as you now, Dad."

"No you aren't," I automatically respond. He isn't after all. Not quite.

He looks UP into my eyes, "Yes I am. Our eyes are the same level!" Then he draws an invisible line through the air to my eyes from his. We both laugh as we watch his hand raise nearly an inch. It's subtle... not really.

I awkwardly attempt to comfort/complement him.

"No worries Mase. You may still be shorter than me, but you are a lot better looking than I am."

Meri carrying a poor wounded Mason. Don't ask.

Mildly awkward silence.

"Yeah Dad. Sure." he finally replies.

Emma has to chime in on...

Mason's Horrible Deformity

"Nuh-uh Dad!" she pipes in loudly

"That's nice of you to say, sweetie." I say, slightly embarrassed.

Then, secretively, she beckons to me. I lean down and her tiny lips breathe hotly and directly into my eardrum:

"Trust me, Dad! Mason has hair in his armpits. I've SEEN it!"

I regard her very seriously for a moment. That moment lasts about 2 seconds before I can't hold in the laughter any longer.

Side Trip: Chris's New Mountain Bike

Chris and Mason started a lawn business with some neighbor kids this summer. In case you didn't know, Chris never met a dollar he couldn't spend 5 minutes after it came into his possession. We expected to see large quantities of candy and an influx of other mostly useless things since he was earning more money.

Nope.

He saved up almost $400 for a mountain bike, shopped online for a great used one, talked the owner down $100 on his price, and got them to deliver it to our house.

Super proud of this kid!

Chris at the Saratoga Splash parade representing his dojo.

Second Easter + Bonus

This is the second and final post about Easter-type-things. Don't get me wrong, Easter is great. More for the religious/spiritual reasons than for the commercial reasons or the outdoorsy allergy-infested reasons. Still... it was a fun year and I'm going to write a bit more about family Easter celebrations.

I'll lead off with the bonus.

Football Fun

Gave Em some pointers on throwing a football recently. She's a natural!

Played catch with the rest of the kids too and ended up in an epic game of 500. The kids have some rules for it that I'd never heard of and it ended up being very silly and really fun. Hopefully we do this again soon.

The Hunt For The Eggcellent Eggs

We spent some time with a couple of Chris's aunts and uncles and more of their extended family recently. They put on an epic Easter egg hunt each year and we were happy to be invited and take part this year.

As an aside, notice anything about the heights of the people below? Some of them seem to be growing. How curious.

The smaller kids started out in the front yard and worked their way to the back.

The back yard was where the older kids started. There were great hiding spots out there (or at least that's what the Easter Bunny told me during our chat).

Hording ill-gotten candy and the swingset... YOUTHS.

That's all for now. We shall return with future shenanigans. Hopefully.

First Easter

I thought I'd give all ya'll (in the Texas parlance) a few days break from reading my nonsensical drivel. Now I'm back with more content than ever. Poor you.

Eggs, Roll Out!

Easter is a pretty fun time for us. We have a few traditions, some inherited and some new. This year we went out to a hill south of Manti, UT with the Crane family to roll eggs. 

I remember the first time we joined them for this somewhere outside New Harmony, UT about 92,000 years ago. My conversation with Meri went something like this:

Meri - "We're going to go roll eggs with Mammy and Papa and all the kids." 

Me - "We're going to what?!"

Hamburger Hill (for eggs)

It turns out, the kids really get a kick out of seeing who can get a hard-boiled egg to roll the farthest down a hill.

It turns out, the adults really get a kick out of seeing who can get a hard-boiled egg to roll the farthest down a hill.

It turns out, I like repeating this.

There was a SLIGHT breeze.

Who Says Bunnies Don't Have A Sense Of Humor?

The Easter Bunny continued the tradition of leaving candy all over our house and hiding Easter baskets. When he came to the Axis & Allies game the boys and I are still working on, he decided to even the odds...

I'll be back...

Second Easter is already in the pipe so I'll probably finish it sometime this week. Rest assured that there will not be a 3rd or 4th... that would be silly.

Wherein I Anger Many Jazz Fans

This is the final installment in the epic retelling of the week of spring break. Find the other parts here, here, and here.

Meri's friend scored us free tickets to the Utah Jazz vs Portland Trailblazers NBA basketball game on Friday night. Super cool!

The Past

I'm a casual Jazz fan. I like it when they do well and enjoy attending a game occasionally... particularly when it is free! I have fond memories of their playoff runs when John Stockton and Karl Malone were in their prime.

The team I grew up watching was the Portland Trailblazers. Basketball was my Dad's sport and we were pretty into it when the Blazers were on.

I remember when the great Portland teams of the 80's played with Clyde the Glide and Terry Porter. I also remember some heartbreaking losses. Dad would cheer for the home team most often, but he liked basketball and would watch the playoffs even when they were eliminated. He always rooted for the underdog in those cases... a habit I picked up as well. This is one of my best memories of him.

The Present

Back to the now. I've enjoyed living in an NBA town. Energy Solutions Arena has been a great venue for many fun events including the Disney On Ice show we saw with the girls a couple months ago. And live sports are much more engaging and fun than watching on TV. I never attended a pro game growing up and it has been fun to take my kids as an occasional treat.

Mason and Chris were kind enough to be my companions on the trip. I guess the girls weren't too interested. Many next time... (insert hint here).

Our seats were pretty high (I think about 10 rows from the top), but there really aren't any bad seats in the arena. We could see all the action directly and the replays on the giant new screens they installed recently.

The Game

I, of course, cheered for MY home team in this case. I think Mason and Chris might have been A LITTLE embarrassed of me. I encouraged them to cheer for the Jazz. Utah is their home and the Jazz have a great legacy. They were kinda quiet though... maybe they didn't want to anger the old man. Not that I get fanatical about sports... okay maybe the Seahawks. You got me there.

There were a few other Blazers fans in the building that night, and none of us got too many stares of hatred... that I noticed. Very dignified bunch of Utah Jazz fans for sure.

The game was actually really great with several lead changes up until the fourth quarter when the Blazers really dominated. I toned down my cheers at that point not wanting to be a sore winner.

All in all, it was a very fun night out with my sons. Love these kids very much!

The Epilogue

After all the joking about having nosebleed seats, Mason got a nosebleed on in the car on the way home. Ah coincidence... you are a mysterious beast indeed.

Second Party

Not unlike, yet different from, second breakfast...

Upon our return, we had a party planned with all the kids and some of Emma's friends. This is the story of that party and is the continuation of the epic story of the week of spring break. Part 1 and 2 are already in the books. This is part 3.

Eating and Singing

The party was at Boondocks in Draper. If you've never been to this fun place, here is a tip: it's a bit more expensive than Trafalga or your other standard "fun" places. I think it's totally worth it though. The facilities are clean and everything is in great condition. Plus they have the best rides.

They have a tradition at birthday parties of the birthday child spinning around in a roll of prize tickets while you sing happy birthday... this was SUPER cute.

All wrapped up.

Playing and Having Fun

Emma loved the flight simulator ride. She went on it with Kassie first and then several more times with some of her party guests.

Luckily it was a beautiful spring day with temperatures above 70 degrees. So Em spent a lot of time on the bumper boats too. All the kids had a great time :)

Mason and Chris took her on the fast go-kart track as well since she couldn't go by herself. Overall, a great day. So much so that we tabled our plans to go out to dinner afterward for another day. That much fun is a lot of work!

Up Next: 

A night out with the boys. Should be coming pretty soon.

And Back Again

This is the continuation of the epic saga of last week. Part 1: There (Grouse Creek) was published yesterday and the rest should be done before the week is over. Hope you enjoy. 

Road Trippin'

The drive back to civilization was more eventful than the drive out. At least it was for Meri and I. We listened to some Writing Excuses podcasts and some BYU Speeches and eventually our poor tuckered-out little princesses fell asleep.

Needless to say, Meri and I could not let this brilliant opportunity pass. Being the children we are, we devised a plan to feed the boys lunch by throwing popcorn at their open mouths. To be clear, Meri did the throwing and I focused on the driving (and laughing). When we arrived in Wendover to get gas and lunch, the boys awoke with a considerable amount of popcorn around and on them. Alas, none made it in their mouths but we teased them about already having had lunch anyway.

Antics Part Deux

More antics ensued at Taco Time. Everyone wanted to take "duck lips" pictures, or I wanted them to, and we had relative success until we got to Mason and Meri. They seemed incapable of making the face on demand and as I teased them about it they.... improvised.

It was one of our more fun and entertaining 3+ hour drives with the whole family. Don't ask what it was like on the way TO Grouse Creek...

To be continued... the week is far from over.

There (Grouse Creek)

What a crazy week last week! We spent time in Grouse Creek with the Mecham clan, celebrated a very small person's birthday, and more. I'm going to split this up into a few posts or it will be overwhelming.

Party #1

Our kids are famous for having their birthday celebrations spread out over long periods of time. This is in part because they always like to celebrate with family members who are inconveniently distributed geographically. Also because Meri and I are too worn out from partial celebrations to finish it all in one day.

Emma's first party was in Grouse Creek so that she could celebrate with the people she loves out there (and since we were already there).

YUMMY!

She blew out Lego-shaped candles and opened a couple of the presents we had given her. Then she had cake and icecream with the family and some of the Grouse Creek girls. All the girls went outside and played like crazy for a couple hours. Emma had a lot of fun and that was the goal. Mission accomplished.

The Nose Knows

Mason and Chris slept out on the trampoline at Grammy and Grampy's house for three nights while we were in Grouse Creek. On the third night they were out there jumping around having fun so I decided to sneak out and scare.... er... get some pictures. They were a little scared but not too much.

Yeah, it was pretty cold out there.

I made the suggestion that they should be careful running around and jumping in the dark and left to come back inside. A few minutes later they came inside to show us what Mason did to his nose:

The broken nose of consequence strikes again!

What better consequence than a natural one right? They both thought the whole thing was pretty humorous. Luckily he didn't really break it... at least not seriously. They promptly returned to the trampoline to finish the night out.

Up next the crazed antics of our return trip home. Stay tuned!

5K > Me... but not Christopher

Blast From The Past

I found this post lingering in the drafts folder. It amused me then and now so I thought I would spruce it up a bit and share. You know... for the kids.

The Summer Of 69... Er... 07

One Saturday in the summer of 2007, Chris and I ran in our very first (and last) 5K race as part of the events of Saratoga Splash. The Splash is an annual celebration that the city of Saratoga Springs Utah puts on during summer break. In 2007 they had all kinds of fun things to do including a parade, a free carnival, and an awesome squirt gun fight with the Guinness people on hand in case SS broke the world record for largest squirt gun fight. Also, half mile and quarter mile races for kids, and a 5K race for charity.

Regarding Running And The "Genius" Of Noobs

First, a quick thought: running your first 5K race at 7AM on the morning of a day when you are clearly going to be very, very busy and active... not the best idea. Particularly if you haven't run in at least 15 years outside a couple of short bouts with a treadmill. 

Unless you are a 9-year-old with ADHD. If you are a 9-year-old with ADHD, all bets are off.

The News (Hint: It's Not Good)

We arrived 20 minutes early to make sure we were registered and pick up our stylin' t-shirts aaaand stretch. Should have done more of the last.... 

The race organizer said a few words before we got started. Words like: "thank you for coming"... "funds raised go to charity"... "have a good time out there"... and then the bombshell (for me at least) "is everyone excited for all the hills in this neighborhood?" followed by cheers from the crowd. 

WHAT?! WHY ON EARTH ARE THEY CHEERING? This thought went through my mind so clearly I almost yelled it aloud.

I look at Chris to see if I misheard. The gleam in his eyes makes his comment all the more painful to me, "Hills, Dad!" He's as dense as the rest of them!

I groaned inwardly. "Yeah, they're all over around here I guess. Fun, huh?" I faked as cheerfully as I could manage. My forced enthusiasm wouldn't last long.

Of Sadists And 5K Course Planners

"Runners to your marks!" commanded the organizer.

"Hey, Chris... be sure to pace yourself. You don't want to run out of gas after the first K." I advised (partly for my own benefit). "Sure Dad... if you say so."

"Get set!"

"You know the people who get out in front first, we'll just pass later when they are out of gas." "Ok Dad."

The starting gun fired.

We were off... and at first it was ok. The beginning of the course was a deceptively mild downhill grade. This lasted all of 100 meters. Then we rounded a corner to our first hill.

The Energy Of Youth

As we started up the hill, I quickly slowed to a fast walk. Lungs and legs burning. Fire in my veins. This isn't supposed to be so hard! I thought.

Chris is basically jogging in place about 10 paces ahead of me. "Coming Dad?" he asks mercilessly. Can't he see I'm dying?

He runs back to me and jogs a few circles around me as I labor back into a slow trot. "Are you ok Dad?" he's concerned and rightly so.

This may be the end. I see black spots in front of my vision.

I slow to a walk again.

"I'll be fine buddy," I wheeze. "You go on ahead."

"Are you sure??" He's still concerned. Such a nice boy. I want to strangle him.

"Yep. Now go. See how fast you can finish."

He takes off.

In The End

I won't bore you with the rest of the details of my stop/start journey to the finish line. 

There were hills. Many hills. 

Suffice it to say that I did eventually make it. I even beat some people. Well, at least one. Not the guy pushing the other guy in a wheelchair though. They were fast!

Chris finished with a decent time in the front 1/3 of the pack. He's got some energy, that one. Just a little.

From my time getting into running in 2012-2013, I can say with authority that I had no business running a 5K on that summer day in 2007. I'm going to do it again though. Oh yes. I am.

I don't have any pictures from this day unfortunately. Here are another from 2007.

Theatre, Theatre, Theater

As I write this blog post couch-side in Grouse Creek, I have to count my blessings. It's been a crazy and great week culminating in a trip here to this barely-known region of Northwestern Utah to spend time with family and enjoy LDS General Conference. If you've never watched conference, you can see previous sessions at lds.org. One session will pretty quickly give you an idea of what we Mormons are really all about. My soul is filled right now and I am extremely grateful for my family, friends, and God.

Now on to the happenings of the week.

Theatre (Puppet)

Kassie and Emma put on quite a show this week. They created their own puppet theatre by pinning blankets across Kassie's bedroom door. The show was all set up when I arrived home from work late one evening early this week. It was a great surprise and really made my day.

The audience was excited and despite this image, they were in no way inebriated... This is brought to you by the Google+ feature "auto awesome" which automatically animates pictures that were taken close together. I asked Kassie to take a pic of the audience and apparently she took a few!

Clearly it was getting a little late...

The show began and the girls performed masterfully. Kassie often supplied lines to Emma throughout and there was a definite plot-line. There was also a lot of giggling.

Puppets playing ball.

All in all it was a very fun and funny performance. A great way to end any day.

Theatre (In The Round)

On Wednesday, I had a long-planned surprise lined up for Meri and Kassie. About a month ago, I learned that The Hale Center Theatre would be playing Les Miserables (a little late as it was almost sold out). I knew that Meri had long desired to see a live presentation of the musical and we have been to this theatre before and enjoy their quality productions.

My dates for the show.

I secretly bought the tickets and asked Meri to set aside the evening and find a babysitter for Emma since the boys would be in scouts. Without much other information, she was a very good sport about it. I've never seen the play or the movie, but I was under the impression that it wouldn't be age-appropriate for Emma (who barely survives kid-centric movies). It was a little dodgy for Kassie as well, but we explained it to her in a way that made sense we think.

This was a really fun experience I hope we all remember for a long time. The girls have been listening and singing along to the Les Miserables soundtrack for several days since.

Theater (Movie)

HealthEquity has a really fun tradition of taking all the employees to an advanced screening of a fun movie in the spring. Last year it was Iron Man 3 and this year it was Captain America 2. The company founder Steve Neeleman dressed up as Cap too. We have a good time :)

The movie was really fun and afterward we took some photo opportunities:

Captain Chris doesn't stand a chance.

I decided to get in on the action...

Clearly that wasn't happening.

I'm not quite as limber as Kass...

In Grouse Creek

We've been having fun here too. The boys are sleeping out on the trampoline for the second night. They tried to convince me to join them but I'm NOT falling for it. Waking up with my usual puddle of drool frozen to my lips and the metal edges of the tramp isn't on my to-do list.

Maybe I'll write another one of these soon. We'll see.